Thursday, March 4, 2010

Back before Mommyhood, there used to be a time when I cared...

Today was one of those days with Tessa.  Well, generally every day is, trying to keep up with a demanding 2 year old!  Tessa got hold of a Sharpie marker, and much to her delight, opened it and drew all over the carpet.  Then, she kept wanting to stick her hands and feet into the carpet cleaner while I was trying to remove the stain (which was difficult enough without a toddler in the way!).  I did determine a punishment that she finally dislikes.  (She seems to view putting her toys into time-out as a game of sorts...sigh.)  She definitely knew drawing on the floor was wrong, she even said so when I asked her if she knew what she'd done that was naughty, and she'd done it before (with washable markers) and knew she wasn't supposed to.  I finally told her because she was naughty, she would have to play on her own and Mommy & the boobies were going into time out (earlier this morning, she was popping on & off the boob, and she definitely did not like having the boobies in time out) or me not paying attention to her.  I did feel bad though, because she pouted and lay on the floor whining the  whole time (it was about 10 minutes, I needed that long to regroup).

I took Tessa this afternoon to the mall (got 2 coupons in the mail recently for free panties from Victoria's Secret--yay!), and afterwards we went to Barnes & Noble so she could play with the train table they have there.  Carrying her in the bookstore, I realized my bra strap was showing (I was wearing a tank top today, the weather was quite mild) but I had no inclination to set Tessa & my giant heavy purse (oh, I miss the days of tiny purses that don't fit a sippy cup, diapers, wipes, spare shirt & pants & at least 2 packs of travel sized Kleenex!) on the ground and fix my bra strap.

It occurred to me that I used to care if my bra strap was showing, and now I've been reduced to caring if my boob is hanging out and I forgot to re-fasten my bra after nursing (and, yes, I have gone out a time or two in that situation not realizing it). 

Then I felt particularly dowdy standing in line at the Starbucks in Barnes & Noble (MIL keeps me supplied in Starbucks cards at least!) next to a professional woman all fixed up and dressed to the nines in sharp clothes and heels...Heels...I can't even REMEMBER the last time I wore heels, definitely it was before Tessa was born or I was pregnant.  I felt awful about my appearance, not to mention the giant zit on my chin right now...

Ugh...just one of those days.  I'm PMS'ing (I think).  My cycles are a bit wacky, maybe from the breastfeeding still or the stress of hubby's unemployment.  I do have regular cycles, but the length varies a bit.

Maybe I need to eat some chocolate!


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